Day 22: Tales of a runner with weight/waiting issues

The other day I was telling a friend about my time at North Greenville University and how thankful I was to have earned my undergraduate degree at a school that was founded upon the truth of God’s Word.

I mean, even our motto proudly proclaimed what set us apart as a college: Where Christ Makes the Difference.

Although all of senior year I was racing to be done, I am eternally grateful for the time I did get to spend at NGU. I wouldn’t trade my experiences there for anything.

As we were talking, I also shared with her the less favorable side of my time at undergrad. What started out as a desire to be healthy quickly turned into a destructive habit which in turn only furthered to intensify already present self-image issues.

If I wasn’t in the gym for about an hour each day, I would get angry with myself. It didn’t matter if extracurricular activities or academic assignments were being pushed to the side, I absolutely had to stay fit.

I can recall my fitness fiasco getting to such a point that I would even turn down hanging out with friends if it meant I would miss a day’s worth of work-out.

When I would get on the treadmill or the elliptical and prepare myself for an hour of exhausting cardio, I could sense the destructive nature of this habit, but I refused to fight against it.

After all, wasn’t working out supposed to be good for me? Wasn’t I doing my body a disservice by skipping a day?

Eventually, it got to the point that old injuries were flaring up again and I was actively destroying what I wanted so badly to build.

With the busyness of senior year, a summer of work and change, and then a move across the ocean, things began to be put into perspective.

I handed my everything back over to God and asked for His strength to help me overcome this obsession.

Some days I still battle within myself of whether or not I should go to the gym more than I do now, but I honestly feel that the Lord has brought me to a better place physically.

Now limiting myself to around 4 gym sessions a week, I have developed a much healthier view of myself and a much greater respect for my body.

Isaiah 40:31 reads,

Yet those who wait for the Lord Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

I had weight issues, but at the root of all of those problems was the ugly core: wait issues.

Am I the only one to likes to feel in control of a situation?

For me, the gym and school was where I felt most in control of my life. I could decide the outcome of things, and to be honest it was nice for a season.

But then that struggle for control became a sin, and my passions became obsessions.

When we decide to take matters into our own hands, things may run smoothly for a while. You may succeed at some things and people may even encourage you in your endeavor, but let me tell you from experience, wait issues have the potential to wreak absolute havoc on your life.

The Lord says in His Word that when we wait on Him, we will run and not get tired!

For someone who loves running, this is a powerful promise.

He is saying we don’t have to strive in our strength and that He has a mighty plan for our lives if we would cease striving and know that He is God.

Waiting on the Lord may not provide you microwave-fast products, but as I am learning, His ways truly are so much greater than our own.

Today, I pray that you give it all back to God.

Every. Single. Aspect. Of. Your. Life.

And ask that He help you develop a healthy balance in your life and a wisdom to know where to put the weight of our skills, talents, and time.

Allow Him to refresh and rejuvenate you, to tear down the walls you have allowed your self-doubts and fears to build, and “gain new strength”.

Amen.

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