“Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”
If you asked me in September where I would be the next year, I would’ve said without hesitation “Nottingham”. From the moment I found Heart Church and fell into the groove of city life, I fell in love with this place. The culture, the diversity, the history-it’s all so beautiful.
For months I was battling something I knew the Lord was trying to tell me, but I thought I was doing the right thing by pressing forward and making plans. It didn’t take me long to get ahead of God and end up stressed and worried.
So many questions poured through my mind and kept me up at night. I would wake up and try to subdue the urge to cry and try to figure everything out one more time.
Like Peter, my obstinate nature and wild zeal sometimes wears me down and leads me off course. I just wanted to honor God and find my place in this world.
I felt like I was constantly on edge, in a good mood but only because I refused to think about my future. I knew it upset me, and I didn’t know how to handle it.
But, I soon realized completely ignoring the future was just as destructive emotionally as overwhelming myself with plans. There had to be a balance.
That’s when Jesus stepped in, when I had finally reached the point where I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt I had zero control. He patiently waited for me to get to this point so He could remind me He had a plan for me.
“Just keep walking.” He told me time and time again. “Just be obedient right here, right now.”
Last night as I was trying to relax my brain after hours of doing work, I felt God press on my spirit “Watch it begin again.”
Those words reminded me of the Taylor Swift song “Begin Again”, and I went to listen to the song again. While our situations are entirely different, I understood the greater sentiment behind the lyrics. Sometimes we think something is so right, and when we find out it’s not, life seems to fall apart before our eyes. But then, in the most unexpected ways, God reminds us He is in charge and He is the God of new beginnings.
Today I want to share with all of you what I feel God calling me to next. At first I resisted because I thought I knew best, but God is so good, and He waits until we come to Him ready to hear from Him.
I will be moving back to the States in June.
God is telling me to begin again, to take what I’ve learned from my time in Nottingham and bring it wherever He leads me. He is doing a new thing in my life and in so many of our lives. It’s not always comfortable, but we can trust His heart. We must be willing to walk in faith and strength.
I don’t know where I will be three months, much less a year, but I know God is true and His ways are sure. I’ll be the first to say not having all the answers can be scary, but I am learning day by day that I don’t need to know everything to be obedient right where I am. He will open the right doors at the perfect time. He will guide us every step of the way if we allow Him to.
On a Saturday in a cafe, I watch it begin again.